All I Ask (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

        I will leave my heart at the door. I won't say a word—they've all been said before, you know.. So why don't we just play pretend, like we're not scared of what is coming next or scared of having nothing left.
        "Bucky," you sighed, "you're leaving tomorrow. We can't just leave this fight unsolved and not see each other for months. Maybe we can just be friends."
        Look, don't get me wrong. I know, there is no tomorrow. 
         "(Y/n)," he sighed, his blood slowing after the quickened pace it beat at when he was beginning to shout, "you know I'm just afraid of losing you. I don't want us to break up. I don't know–I guess I'm just angry...and kinda scared."
        This was the first time you two were so close to breaking up. You decided that you just couldn't deal with it anymore. You thought you couldn't settle down with a sergeant, much less an ordinary soldier. You just couldn't deal with him leaving all the time when you knew you could settle down in a steady relationship with a man who didn't have to leave to foreign countries with no way of reaching you all the time and not knowing if he would come home from the trip. But no matter what you said and how much breaking up with justfied, you couldn't lie to yourself. You loved him.
        All I ask is if this is my last night with you, hold me like I'm more than just a friend. Give me a memory I can use. Hold me by the hand while we do what lovers do. It matters how this ends. 
        "I'm scared, too. Don't you remember last time? You were shot in the chest, just two inches away from the heart. I was about to have a heart attack! I don't doubt you; I know you're strong and intelligent, and that's why I wanted to be with you. I'm just paranoid," you murmured, your voice beginning to crack, "'cause what if I never love again?"
        "How about we have one last night together, as the lovers we really are? We just need closure. We need some time together," he whispered, sitting next to you on the bed. He brushed your hair away from your face and wiped the tears away from your eyes before they cascaded down your cheeks. He slowly leaned in and gave you a passionate kiss on the lips, though it wasn't as confident as it usually was.
        I don't need your honesty. It's already in your eyes, and I'm sure my eyes—they speak for me. No one knows me like you do. And you're the only one that matters, so tell me, who do I run to?
        "Bucky, is that really going to fix everything?" you asked, pulling away. "I know that it's going to give us some temporary safety net, but what about when you're gone? How are we gonna keep going strong?"
        "(Y/n), you're my whole world. I swear to you, I'll write every day, even if the letters somehow manage to come here at the same time. I love you so much, and you're the only person that really understands me, top to bottom, even when it comes to times like this."
        Look, don't get me wrong. I know, there is no tomorrow. 
        "I don't know if I convinced you enough that I really want us to be together for the rest of our lives, (y/n)..." he spoke after a moment of silence as you sat there, still as a statue–permeated in anxious thought and ponder. 
        After a while, you managed to look up into his glossy eyes that were beginning to  water themselves. "Of course you've convinced me, Bucky," you said, wiping the tears from his blue eyes that were beginning to fall. He never cried. Ever. To know that he was willing to cry in front of you and during a situation like this made your heart feel as if it was shattering and yet growing stronger at the same time. "I was just feeling paranoid, and I let that take control of me. I'm so sorry," you began to cry, falling heavily on his chest and wrapping your arms around his neck.
       All I ask is if this is my last night with you, hold me like I'm more than just a friend. Give me a memory I can use. Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do. It matters how this ends. 'Cause what if I never love again?           
        You felt two warm, large arms begin to snake around your waist. "Don't be sorry," he whispered into your ear. He put his hands on your shoulders and began to pull you in front of him. "Let's take a walk in the park. Let's make love. Let's go to our favorite date night spots—restaurants, boutiques, ice cream places, the park, Times Square, everywhere. I have until 0900 tomorrow, and it's only beginning to get dark right now. It's six, which gives us 15 hours."
        Let this be our lesson in love. Let this be the way we remember us. I don't wanna be cruel or vicious, and I ain't asking for forgiveness. 
        "Okay," you smiled as you saw the look of determination grow stronger on his face, "let's go." You wrapped your arms tighter around the back of his neck, finally disintegrating the little space between your lips and chests, giving him the most passionate kiss you ever gave him. However, you hadn't forgotten all about your paranoia. If this was really your last night with him, this was how you wanted to remember him, remember your relationship.
        He did as promised. He took you to every single place you had ever gone to together. He made passionate love to you. He bought you dozens and dozens of gifts. Deep down, he knew this would be the most terrifying and dangerous mission he ever had and ever will do with the Howling Commandos. All the other times, he was confident he'd make it home, but this time he wasn't so sure. The both of you pushed away your underlying paranoid and anxious thoughts to enjoy the fifteen hours you still had together. 
        All I ask is if this is my last night with you, hold me like I'm more than just a friend. Give me a memory I can use. Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do. It matters how this ends. 'Cause what if I never love again?
        "I love you so much, (y/n)," he whimpered, enclosing you in a tight hug and giving you a long kiss on the lips. The time came. Who knew 15 hours could feel so short?
        "I love you more," you stated, as you mirrored his actions. "Take care of my Bucky, Steve!"
        "Will do, (y/n)!" exclaimed the super-soldier himself. You still hadn't gotten used to his new appearance and kept thinking he was still the scrawny little guy he was before. "After all, he's 'my little Bucky,' too!" he laughed, mocking your voice as he noogied Bucky. He walked away, still laughing.
        Bucky looked at you in the eyes and winked as he brushed his hair back to its former handsome position. Still maintaining eye contact, you hadn't even realized...
        That he had gotten down on one knee.
        Your heart raced and trembled, and breathing became a difficult task instead of an innate habit. 
        "(F/n) (m/n) (l/n), for the past six years, I have loved you with all my heart, and I know that you have loved me with all of yours. For the past four and a half years of being a soldier, you have endured me having to go off to wars, do missions, and all of that other good stuff." You laughed at his sarcastic remark. "I want to show you how confident I am that I will come back and love you to pieces for the rest of my life, by using this to keep my promise," he stated, pulling out a red velvet box, slowly opening it to reveal the most beautiful diamond ring you have ever seen. "(Y/n), will you marry me?"
        Before any words could escape from your mouth, you slammed your lips into his.
        "I'll take that as a yes!" he winked, slipping the ring on the finger you had once believed would be bare for the rest of your life.
        You feverishly nodded as he did so. "Yes, of course, Bucky Barnes!"
        All I ask is if this my last night with you, hold me like I'm more than just a friend. Give me a memory I can use. Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do. It matters how his ends. 'Cause what if I never love again?
        Seven months instead of six months had passed, and you got a message that you dreaded but had foresaw on that fateful day. You sobbed and broke down as you looked down on your ring, tossing the letter aside. 
        It really was your last night with Bucky. 
        You never loved again.